On being really freaking pale. 
You may notice in this photo (from last year) that I’m whiter than the sand on the beach. In general I don’t really mind being a little (lot?) pale, but in Brazil nothing screams “tourist” like being the whitest freaking person in the room.* It’s almost like my pasty legs are offending them.
So, since I’m a little bit tired of beggars, solicitors, and other various harassers approaching me first in restaurants, buses, and beaches, I’ve decided I’m going to get a tan this summer. It’ll be glorious, the first in years. My plan is to start with SPF 765 and, as those colorless, Vitamin D-deprived skin cells awaken, work my way down to 15 or so.
Sadly there are greater forces at work here. I wish I was exaggerating to say that the three hot, sunny days I’ve gone to the beach this week suddenly turned cold, windy and overcast the minute I stepped on the sand. Come on Brazil!
But that’s not going to stop my tan aspirations. Every night I say a prayer to Snooki that I can achieve even an ounce of her golden orange skin tone. GTL FOR LIFE.
*Nothing except a person screaming “TOURIST!”

On being really freaking pale.

You may notice in this photo (from last year) that I’m whiter than the sand on the beach. In general I don’t really mind being a little (lot?) pale, but in Brazil nothing screams “tourist” like being the whitest freaking person in the room.* It’s almost like my pasty legs are offending them.

So, since I’m a little bit tired of beggars, solicitors, and other various harassers approaching me first in restaurants, buses, and beaches, I’ve decided I’m going to get a tan this summer. It’ll be glorious, the first in years. My plan is to start with SPF 765 and, as those colorless, Vitamin D-deprived skin cells awaken, work my way down to 15 or so.

Sadly there are greater forces at work here. I wish I was exaggerating to say that the three hot, sunny days I’ve gone to the beach this week suddenly turned cold, windy and overcast the minute I stepped on the sand. Come on Brazil!

But that’s not going to stop my tan aspirations. Every night I say a prayer to Snooki that I can achieve even an ounce of her golden orange skin tone. GTL FOR LIFE.

*Nothing except a person screaming “TOURIST!”

Tags: brazil brasil